I will always miss you.
A friend of mine passed away right before Christmas. I was completely shocked. I have had four important people die before that had made an impact on me. But I was not prepared for a friend, someone close in age to die. At first I didn’t believe my friend who called to give me the bad news. I thought she was joking. A very cruel joke. Or maybe he was joking. I guess that was what I was hoping for.
The first death that had a large impact on me was a teacher/friend’s mother who I had been close to in high school. She had been ultra supportive of my writing and me in general. She celebrated my humour. She died of cancer. It was sad because she was gone and she had left behind two young girls who were confused and didn’t know how to react.
The next person to depart was my Grandmother. She was my mother’s mother. I didn’t really know her that well. That side of the family isn’t big on hugs or affection. The closest, physically, I had ever been to her was in the back seat of a car. We had to share a seat belt. I remember her smile. I used to think that I saw her everywhere. She had been my only living grandmother.
Then my Grandpa died. He was my Dad’s dad and had been very close, emotionally and also in proximity. He was a joker until the very end. He was a true grandpa, chocolate cookies and all. I miss him everyday.
The fourth person who had died I never actually met. She was my Dad’s mother. She died two years before I was born. When I was a kid I would pretend that she was alive or at least that I had known her. I would pretend that she was the perfect grandma who made cookies and braided my hair. I have missed her my entire life, even though I had never knew her. She was and still is the missing puzzle piece.
When my friend Arthur died I was shocked. It felt like there was a mistake, the wrong person was taken. I couldn’t, still can’t, figure out if life is short or if death can be too quick. Maybe both. But the one resounding truth for everyone who had known Arthur is ‘don’t wait’. Do it now. Live your life to the fullest everyday. I remember going for a beer after work with Arthur. This was not his style. He made plans, he wasn’t spur of the moment. He thought it was funny that he was trying to be like me, unpredictable and in the moment, while I was trying to make plans and play it a little safer like him. We were so different, him and I. Sometimes I was shocked that we could even be friends. But it was humour that tied us together. A humour that I think I got from my Dad and Grandpa.
It was too soon for Arther to leave but I think that I have learned that it is always too soon. I miss Arthur but every time I think of him I am inspired. Inspired to live, try new things, live in the moment and to always find the humour. Laugh and celebrate.
Rest in Peace.
Arthur Tevlin a.k.a “Little Brother”
June 6 1987 – December 23 2010
