I love love love the idea of cooking your way through a cook book and blogging about your journey.  I have been searching for a cook book to cook through.  A cook book to teach me to cook.  But I have been teaching myself to cook already.

My mother grew up on a farm.  They named the cows, therefore they were unable to eat cows.  They grew up on bologna and weiners.  When I was a child we ate ground beef and chicken nuggets.  My mother was deathly afraid of meat.  Actually not meat, under cooked meat. On the weekends when my dad was home we had real meat.  Every Sunday we had a roast.  Our meals were based around the meat, real or not.  In highschool I had enough of it and decided to quit eating meat.  My dad was not pleased.  We used to eat steak together while making jokes that only us two understood.  I think he felt that was turning my back on him.  Not him.  Meat.  Real or not.  Cooked or uncooked.

When I moved out on my own I bought nothing but vegetables.  I ate vegetables.  Tofu.  Noodles.  Perogies, for the first time!  I tried different vegetables and fruit.  I would eat meat in restaurants.  I eventually started to cook chicken.  Usually dry and over cooked.

Now.  I moved out of the city to the country.  I moved in with a meat eater with an open mind.  I decided to learn how to cook meat.  I made meat loaf, meat balls, stuffed pork loin, pot roast.  Some turned out beautiful, others not so well.  But I tried.  I succeeded.

I read a beautiful book ‘Crazy Sexy Diet’ by Kris Carr and decided to quit eating meat again.  I haven’t been cooking meat but I have had it in restaurants.  It would be easy to be vegan because I am Lactose-intolerant and already have to cut a lot of food and make substitutions.  But I live with an open minded meat eater.  If I don’t cook he eats hungry man dinners and mini pizzas.  I need to cook for my man.  I want him to be happy and healthy.

The cook book that I decided to cook through is ‘Veganomicon’ by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero.  When I googled ‘best vegan cook book’ this one popped up.  So I bought it.  The first recipe is for Sushi.  No fish of course.  So I will try.  I will still cook meat for the boyf and will cook vegan dishes as well.  I will let you know about my journey but this is still a blog about my obsession with relationships.  I will still do my reviews of rom-coms, write about meditation and all of the other crazy things that pop into my head.  I want to make this my primary blog.  I like this format.  I like typing here.  Tumblr is good but I like this better.

Here is to good food, healthy food, my thoughts and writing every day!!

Rest in Peace.

Arthur Tevlin a.k.a “Little Brother”
June 6 1987 – December 23 2010

The reason I loved the book and movie (well there are many like living vicariously through liz) but because I had so much in common with her relationship past.  The way she became the other person.  Lost herself.  Then when it ended, of course it did because it was based on commonalities of taste and not on realities of life, she was left with nothing.  Well, not nothing.  Memories and experience.  But after so many break ups, which cost money you tend to not care about the ‘unbankable’ life pearls.

I, like so many women would love to leave.  Runaway from life and ‘find’ myself somewhere.  I suppose that is kind of what I did.  I left the life that I had made for myself in the city and am trying to make a new one here.  I think that I am only now starting to lay some ground work.

I know that I have probably wrote all of these words before.  I was inspired by a scene in the movie that I had never seen before.  Liz and David fighting.  It is really odd because my ex was named David and I think we had that same fight.  He fell in love so soon, wanted to move in.  Be an ‘Us’.  So we were.  Moved in together.  Bought furniture, pots, and this computer.  Everything to make a home.  Then one day he decided that he didn’t want it anymore.  That everything I said and did was annoying to him.  He didn’t understand me.  I said it was because he was young.  He didn’t understand himself.  Which was true.  But I moved too quick.  When I met him I was breaking up with someone.  A really easy way to get over someone is to find someone new.  Distract yourself.  That is what I had done.  After we broke up I distracted myself with the venture of getting someone new.  The chase started all over again.  This time was different because the person in question was impossible to trap.  I lived alone and loved it.  I bought the stuff to make a home.  I lived my life.  Not ‘our’ life.

So here it goes…

Honestly the first person who popped into my mind was Kim Kardashian! I know, she is a celebrity because she made a sex tape with ray j and she usually is half naked.  But what I truly admire about her is that she is proud of the way she looks.  She is a real person who has problems eating the right food, not mcdonald’s and who sometimes hates the gym but still goes.  She has fat and cellulite.  Maybe there is a lot about her I don’t know.  I still would love to be able to work on this.  Be okay…no proud of my body and the way I look.  Love all of my fat and cellulite, or at least learn how to live with it.  When I was running on the treadmill today a commercial for curves came on the television.  They were telling me to sign up so that I could get the kind body that I wanted.  That got me thinking about the kind of body that I have wanted for my entire life.  Skinny.  I mean like a rail.  But this isn’t realistic.  I have boobs.  I have an ass.  This is what I am stuck with.  I can go without food, but this will not shrink me.  I will just look ridiculous.  I know this.  But also no amount of gym time is going to achieve this either.  I need to change the way I think about my body.  Stop idolizing rail thin people and look to the Kim Kardashians of the world.  The happy, healthy, and curvy girls.

I got ‘unbearable lightness’ by Portia DeRossi for Kristmas.  I haven’t started it yet because I figure it will be hard to read because of my past.  But I look forward to it.

Resolution #1: Be happy with my body.

The problem was that I needed some guidance.  I wasn’t sure how to make these big changes.  Then I remembered that I saw an interesting book on the same topic titled ‘The Happiness Project’.  Written by Gretchen Rubin, the book takes you through month by month the authors project to become happier.  Each month she sets goals.  I have decided to do the same.  I am going to start with her goals and then see if I need to make changes.  She has also came up with her commandments.  I like the idea of keeping myself accountable and making change every month.

I hope this helps me to change some things.  Work in progress…

It has been awhile.  I got a job!  Finally!!  It is nice to feel useful again.  I am adjusting to my new schedule.  I really like the new job, it is in the shoe department in a large retail store.  Basically I spend my day organizing.  I enjoy organizing.  Everyone I work with seems to be pretty lazy and totally out of touch with reality.  Seems like they have never had a job where they were actually treated unfairly.  No idea what the ‘real’ world is like.  Oh well.  I am only part time.  I show up, work my butt off, and then go home.  Awesome!  This is exactly what I have wanted.

Anyways.  I have been really bad and haven’t kept up any of my ‘habits’.  I haven’t been getting up early, unless I have to.  I have been doing some yoga, but not everyday.  So, time to get back at it!  I am also adding to the list.  I need, need, need, to write everyday.  I had a dream that inspired this *new* habit.  Not really a new habit.  I want to write more poetry.  I will explain….

In the dream I was in my home town.  I was there setting up a big blowout sale with my old employers.  I was there to be a ‘consultant’, basically to keep employees in line.  I decided to go for a walk because I got frustrated, but then got caught in the rain.  I ran into the school to get out of the rain and decided to take a trip down memory lane.  Everything was kind of the same, but the walls were painted in weird, colourful murals.  I ended up in the drama room, where I was surprised to find Mrs. Mac.  She was my drama/english teacher.  She was the one who suggested I go to college for Theatre.  She also was a big supporter of my writing.  When I was in my later years of highschool she had me read my poetry to her grade nine class.  In the dream we sat and talked.  Then I woke up.  I remember feeling that I was sad that I am not writing.  Giving up a big part of me.  No more!!

I am reclaiming my arty roots.  I am artistic.  Dammit.  I have been working with ‘artists’ for too long.  I am sick of the idea that you have to go to school in order to be something.  I am going to write….poetry!  Maybe even a short story.  we will see.  AND I am going to take an art class.  maybe a creative writing course.  Exciting stuff.